A Reality TV Rockstar?
Walking the bright office corridors in Stockholm, intent with purpose and clothed in my standard black suit, it always surprises me to be recognized as a rockstar from reality TV. It seem so incongruous with my new life here, almost ridiculously out of context, and I can only laugh and smile, nodding. “Yes,” I say, “that was me rocking out on Swedish TV last night.”In August 2004 I was the bassist in Spencer "Spenny" Rice’s The Spennys punk band on the reality TV show Kenny VS Spenny which was filmed in Toronto. Along with some of my best friends – Rockstar Jay Englishman and Drummer Boy Noah Egelnick – I appear in the "Who can put on the best concert" episode from season 1.
Kenny VS Spenny is a ridiculous show that’s sometimes very, very funny. It’s a heavily-scripted pseudo-Reality TV show about two incredibly competitive guys who try to out-idiot each other in a multitude of colourful, usually grotesque and always insane ways. It’s a fun show – like Jackass but without the incitement for kids to castrate themselves – that is slowly becoming a HUGE hit here in Sweden.
Three times in the last few weeks, colleagues have approached me with odd looks on their face to inquire whether it was ... possibly ... ME? ... they saw on TV here. Evidently that episode has been broadcast a few times, though I haven’t caught it yet. When I am asked, I can’t help but laugh and tell the story from a life that feels so far from where I am today.
Breakthrough Films, the production company behind KVS contacted KiTH two summers ago about purchasing an ad to promote an open call for Canadian musicians interested in participating in a new reality TV show they were filming for the CBC. I gladly took their money, and then called all my musician friends to give them the scoop. Thinking it would be fun – at least worth shits and giggles – we went out to the auditions in a gross little North York rehearsal space near Dufferin and Finch.
It was set-up like any of the Idol shows, where people would get up on stage and do their thing until they were called off. Some people had what seemed like 20 seconds, and others got as long as they wanted to strut their stuff. It was mad fun to watch, and reminded me a bit of an old-school vaudeville audition without the white cane. “Next!”
It was cool for me, as well, because many of the people who were there came out after seeing the ad on KiTH. I get warm fuzzies from stuff like that.
About a dozen guitarists showed up. It was soooo funny - in a Bill & Ted kind of way - when Jay hit the stage and pulled out all his best Eddie Van Halen moves (both musically and physically) which I'm sure he spent most of his teenage years practicing in front of the mirror. All the other musicians (and the drummers) as well as the TV crew had their jaws hanging agape in amazement as he did the standard fretboard masturbation thang which most of 'em had never seen in real life before … of course, this included all the requisite fast arpeggiated runs, pinched harmonics, whammy dives, feedback squeals and two-handed tapping ... needless to say he got the lead gig. And the rhythm guitarist they chose was practically stapled to Jay's hip for the next 3 days trying to improve his playing through osmosis.
Only four bassists came out and ... ummmm ... I got that gig by just playing a bit.
Quite a few drummers showed up, too, and Noah was - by far - the best of 'em, but they chose a young kid with a toque because they liked the visual, or some other such reason – though the kid WAS a decent player.
Once the band was selected, we (mostly Jay, with Spencer scribbling insipid lyrics) wrote a high-energy 70’s-style punk pop song called "I Just Wanna (Get Laid)" which we were supposed to perform for a panel of music industry professionals judging the contest. Stylistically, it sounds like a rough outtake from the Sex Pistols’ Never Mind The Bollocks sessions and adheres to the “Close enough for Rock and Roll” style of recording perfection.
To find out the contest's result, you'll have to view the episode.
The whole shoot took 2 days and was great fun. Playing with Jay, regardless of the situation, always is. He’s one of those underrated geniuses with the potential to be another Jeff Buckley or Leonard Cohen. In time, I am sure...
We auditioned, wrote the song, practiced it, refined it, rocked out on it, and then jammed through a number of other punk tunes in a blazing hot, unventilated Toronto warehouse under scorching lights in mid-August. The camera crew were fairly top-notch and did a great job capturing the rivers of sweat flying off my scalp as I manically bounced around the stage. And the post-production made the whole thing look and sound pretty decent.
If you get a chance to see the episode, let me know what you think. Also, you can listen to I Just Wanna (Get Laid) right here.
According to Wikipedia, a LOT of international distribution is now in place for the show. I guess that means I now get to be “that guy from TV” who seems familiar but nobody remembers until/unless I’m bouncing around on stage with a bass on. But I’m fine with that. After all, it’s sort of fun to have "Reality TV Rockstar" on my CV along with all the serious stuff.
Cheers y'all.
Jeffrey
4 Comments:
Heavily Scripted? are you proposing that Kenny Vs Spenny is fake? are you hinting at the fact that you have some insider knowledge of goingsons on the show ? do you have any sort of proof or information regarding such activities that you failed to mention in your blog ? obviously they have a good idea of what they are going to do because the competitions were thought up months ago and have had time to think about strategies, but to call it scripted i think is being a little too presumptious, i've read Kenny Hotz's personal blog and heard his defense on the subject and as proffessionals i'm sure that they would have the guts to own up to it if it was truly scripted...nuff said
replies? -> Kenmasters0@hotmail.com
The show is scripted...unfortunately they forgot their script at a certain loaction after having lunch...its too bad. It kinda takes away from the show. Next time the producer should remember to take that with him!
Uhmmm what? State your source buddy, where was I when this script-leaving-in-a-restaurant fiasco happen. Come on come on sgt_rico@hotmail.com please tell me
its totaly fake, i know because i worked on the show,,,just one week, but its not really hidden on set,,its totaly made up,,i was disapointed, i cant even watch it anymore,still a good show ,i was fooled,and had a good time with it.
anonymous..............
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